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Save the Drama for your Mama

As college students we are psychologically and sneakily trained not to be the future leaders and rulers of the business world but rather masters of the art of procrastination.  We know that ‘time is invaluable’ and to ‘make the most of what you have’ but yet we spend outrageous, astounding and a gross amount of time doing other things.  What are those other things? Take a look at the last 5 hours of your Sunday morning — I’d be willing to bet my soon to be arriving graduation money that you have visited Facebook, Twitter,  StumbleUpon or my personal favorite, Pinterest more times than you have even glanced at that yet-to-be-opened textbook.

Well you’re probably saying .. DUHHH Lauren .. tell me something our generation doesnt already know.  Well my dear reader, how about the notion of the gross amount of time we spend preoccupied with the trivial, minuscule and ridiculous day to day happenings.  Im not going to waste your time telling you about the consequences of the time you waste worrying about WHYYY Andrew hasnt texted you back, or why your roommate scores more than Jeremy Lin or how your spring break diet of coke, leftover valentines candy and peanut butter hasnt given you that perfect beach bod .. Id rather take a minute to encourage you to look at the other things in your life that are causing you distractions.  stupidity. immature people. drama.

I’m a female, the D in my DNA practically stands for drama right?  And Ive been dealing with that ever since my friend Meredith never gave back my favorite Barbie. But what my life experiences have yet to teach me is how to deal with Drama in a professional setting.  I’ve had nosy coworkers, bosses that leave a lot to be desired intellectually and Ive had no shortage of classmates who really make me rethink the future of humanity.  And those are all manageable and quite easy to navigate with copious amounts of caffeine, maybe an afterwork drink (or seven) and when all else fails you can always try banging your head so  hard on your desk that you have to go  home for the rest of the day ..

Ok, ridiculousness aside.  I will say that I have matured a lot over the course of my life and Ive learned how to handle lot of different scenarios and situations, thanks a lot to RA training.  But what I struggle to master is how to let someone else’s actions, someone else’s opinions matter to me as much as how clean my room is matters to my mom.

Recently there was a bit of a controversy in one area of my life that I have devoted more than just time to– but a significant portion of my conscious hours, my resources, and a lot of my focus . And this particular controversy will absolutely not be discussed in detail  here, but said issue reverts back to the notion that some people, are just plain worthless. It revolves around the fact that no matter how hard you can try, and how much integrity you operate with, there will be others who won’t appreciate it, wont be able to understand, translate or reciprocate it.  Things like this have a tendency to ruin my day faster than I ever regret eating a whole plate of nachos.

One should constantly seek ways to better themselves, develop themselves and grow and learn from others.  Situations like this should be no excuse.  The problem I run into is that I obsess too much over trying to impress everyone and when I inevitably cannot do that — I stress out because there is someone out there doing wrong by me, not understanding where I am coming from or propagating against me. And that is not ok.

But having self respect only takes you so far before you make the inevitable realization that some people are not worth your time and some drama is better left unattended.  Because you can stoop to their level, embarrass them, call them out and then you are where?  No better.  I am a 100% advocate for confronting problems not only head on, but early and with a direct level of assertion that it doesnt continue.  So much for that drama in my DNA.  But there comes a time when you HAVE to accept that there are some people you will not change, you will not get through to and who will NOT matter to you later in life.  You must always be conscious of your own values and level of integrity and operate within those confines and thats it.  Powertrips to reaffirm your level of self assurance does nothing but demonstrate that youre about as self-secure as a thumbtack and you dont deserve to be taken seriously.

But silent acknowledgment that you acted on your own beliefs, did so without trampling on anyone else’s and upheld your values … should be assurance in and of itself that you dont need to go stomping up to said imbecile and tell them off, or draft some crafty and eloquent letter that will inadvertently shit on their existence .. No you should go on living your life, with perpetual regard and acknowledgement of others beliefs and opinions but you should live with such force and integrity that you do not have time to stop and waste on anything insignificant.

Unless your friend fails to give you your barbie back.  Feel free to let that simmer for a while and then retaliate by never returning her Mary Kate and Ashley movie.

-lauren davis


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This entry was posted on February 26, 2012 by .
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